the [alternate] patriot

Out of touch with reality

1. They have a member of the Bush family as their governor (Jeb Bush, almost rhymes with rubbish)
2. They think they live in a paradise with constantly beautiful weather, and keep forgetting about the storms. Up here in New England (and in other rational parts of the world) the rain comes in measured doses fairly often and huge storms are a rarity.
3. They think AIDS is God's punishment for being gay, and never stop to ask themselves what they are being punished for with Hurricane Charley and other natural disasters.
4. They have really big bugs down there. Our cockroaches are a small, easy-to-step on size, whereas theirs are a couple of inches long. They don't like to admit they have cockroaches, so they call them Palemetto bugs.
5. They have fire ants in their lawns.
6. They have crocodiles swimming around in canals that course throughtheir backyards, and their children and pets are at risk for being snatched. This is more exciting than roving bands of gypsies, but because it doesn't involve being prejudiced against a group of people, Floridians don't talk about it all that much.

Palema 7:28 AM

Comments:

Oh, yeah, Pam. Florida and the other Gulf states have hurricanes. The midwest has tornados and floods. The northern border states have 50 feet of snow each year. The far west has earthquakes and forest fires. I'm staying with sane weather in the northeast.

# posted by  Anonymous : 8/16/2004

 

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